Trashtacular

Popeye's Revenge, the cinematic event of 2025 that nobody asked for but apparently someone thought we needed. This British slasher horror debut, directed by William Stead and written by Harry Boxley—who, let’s be honest, seemed to have one foot in the cereal aisle while brainstorming—takes the beloved spinach-loving sailor and drags him into a realm far more grotesque than the one fans of E.C. Segar could ever imagine. What promises to be a dark transformation of the iconic character ends up traversing dangerous waters, rarely surfacing from the murky depths of absurdity.

How we love a good biopic, especially one centered around a character as illustrious as Vladimir Putin. Enter the cinematic catastrophe known as Putin, directed by Patryk Vega, a name that will surely join the ranks of legendary filmmakers—right next to Uwe Boll. Released on January 10, 2025, this film promised an exhilarating journey through the life of the iron-fisted ruler of Russia. Instead, it delivers a jumbled mess that is about as coherent as Putin's own policies. Bravo, Vega, for turning a once gripping narrative into a nonsensical exercise in confusion and disappointment. If you were looking for a mind-bending experience, you certainly got one—though I imagine insomnia will yield more fulfilling results.

Planet Dune, the movie that dares to ask: "What if we take all the epic grandeur of Dune and replace it with... well, whatever this is?" Directed by Tammy Klein and Glenn Campbell, and released in September 2021, this science fiction mockbuster is more of a cosmic comedic catastrophe than anything else. And you know what? I actually liked it.

The Platform (El Hoyo) graced us with a bleak and dystopian delight back in 2019. It served up brutal social commentary alongside prison horrors.