Trashtacular

Where do I even start with this gem of a film named MR-9: Do or Die? From the very moment the credits start rolling, it feels like they might as well have been playing the theme song from the Jaws soundtrack because you’re about to witness a horror show that’s both comedic and tragic in equal measure. Directed by Asif Akbar, this supposed spy action thriller is an international collaboration between the United States and Bangladesh—because what could possibly go wrong when you mix countries that are worlds apart in filmmaking sensibilities?

Picture this: waking up in a city you don’t recognize, your identity a mystery, and apparently, for the two hours you’re about to spend with "Man with No Past", that's not all you will forget. James Bamford, the illustrious director of such concepts as laying waste to potential, graces us with this gem on the small screen.

I recently sat down to watch Mary, the 2024 epic biblical film directed by D. J. Caruso and penned by Timothy Michael Hayes. Featuring the likes of Noa Cohen, who takes on the titular role, and Anthony Hopkins as the ever-manic Herod, I was intrigued by the premise.

What a joyless, magnificent mess of unintended comedy this is, a late-period fever dream so overloaded with Significance and “cinematic history” that it’s hard to know if Francis Ford Coppola’s Megalopolis comes to us as a time capsule from the future of movies, or as the smoldering effluence of Hollywood’s oldest, dearest delusions.