When you sit down to watch a biographical film named The Ballad of Davy Crockett, you may have some fair expectations. Perhaps a legendary tale filled with thrilling adventures and a touching narrative, one that would pay glorious tribute to the life and times of the famed American frontiersman. Alas, this cinematic endeavour by director Derek Estlin Purvis with Colm Meaney, Jesse Hutch, and William Moseley isn't just disappointingly far from it, it's perturbing.
Plot & Storyline: A Muddled Jamboree of Inexplicable Turns
If they awarded Oscars for incoherence, "The Ballad of Davy Crockett" would have swept the floor. Its insipid plot hung precariously on Davy Crockett's (played by William Moseley) efforts to reconcile with his family while dealing with grizzly terrain and even grizzlier villains. However, the bewildering storyline with inexplicable scenes and unrealistic events is the film's downfall.
In this narrative labyrinth of oddities more perplexing than solving a Rubik's cube blindfolded, our superhero, erm, I mean our ‘historical figure’ Davy Crockett not only accomplishes surviving a fall off a horse with a log through his leg, but he also dabbles in a bullet-time scene. Because why dabble in the laws of reality when you can just borrow from 'The Matrix,' right?
If that wasn’t enough, Crockett pushes the boundaries of absurdity further by mastering the fine art of pyrotechnics. He starts a fire. In the pouring rain. And lo and behold! It combusts instantly, as if the rain was Main Street’s bonfire lighter and not a basic law of chemistry's worst enemy. These bizarre scenes transform what was intended as a gritty, immersive story into a comedy sketch that Picasso would have deemed too abstract.
Adding to the blueprint for surviving in negative IQ conditions, there reposes a crown jewel: a baffling rescue mission. Our bold protagonist, in his infinite wisdom, rescues his ill wife from a burning house, only to then leave her alone in an open field, deprived of three of the four basic survival necessities (shelter, food, water - but hey, at least she can breath!). This unprecedented level of 'heroism,' as some might tragically call it, leaves you less in awe of the protagonist's bravery and more seriously considering gifting the makers a Survival for Dummies book-set.
By circumventing common sense and skinning logic alive, this film has been instrumental in setting new standards for bizarre screenwriting, much akin to a monkey typing out Shakespeare - amusing perhaps, but certainly not intended. Clearly, logic was an optional component while piecing together this cinematic jigsaw puzzle. So buckle in, folks, because this rollercoaster veers rigorously away from the realms of reality and into the depths of discombobulation.
Cast & Performances: An Onscreen Calamity
"The Ballad of Davy Crockett" attempted to create poignant moments between the Crockett kin, especially with the young sons, William and John, trying to fend for themselves. But the woefully average acting, made even worse by the illogical screenplay, failed any emotional bond that was meant to develop.
Our titular hero, portrayed by William Moseley, embodied an unnatural invincibility that would have made the likes of Superman blush. His superhuman endeavors, no doubt intended to add sensational flair, only served to bring unintentional hilarity to the table.
Directorial Vision: A Sight for Sore Eyes
Derek Estlin Purvis' vision for this biographical adventure film could aptly be described as something between a fever dream and a walk through a hall of distorted mirrors. His vision transformed the daring escapades of Davy Crockett into an unwieldy charade that held its viewers hostage, not with suspense but utter befuddlement.
Now, the pièce de résistance in this visual catastrophe was, of course, the camera work. The camera moved with such whip-cracking unpredictability that I wound up being more invested in its frenzied motions than the actual plot. Its spastic voyages across the screen, although supposedly artistic, were woefully enigmatic and disorienting. It was as if the cameraman was masturbating while filming.
Script and Dialogue: A Tragic Misfire of Words
In a sparse frontier, the script could have been the one leading hand, guiding us through the complicated adventures of Crockett. Instead, what we got were dialogues that ranged from clunky to absolutely ludicrous, robbing characters of any depth or authenticity.
Themes & Emotional Impact: A Wild Misstep
The intended themes seemed like a distant illusion, buried under layers of poor execution. As for emotional impact, it swung between non-existent to the unintentionally comical. I'm afraid, the audience would be better off watching 'Saving Private Ryan' or 'The Revenant' for a far more impactful exploration of survival, bravery, and family ties.
Genre & Tone: Lost in the Wilderness
The film was meant to be a riveting biographical adventure, yet it strayed so far off the trodden genre path that it ended up in an unrecognizable cinematic wilderness. The tone was equally misplaced, as tension and drama were replaced by utter incredulity.
Comparative analysis: A Step Down from the Frontier
When compared to other works in the same genre or even against Disney’s earlier attempts at Davy Crockett, this film falls embarrassingly short on nearly all aspects - the story is weak, the direction is aimless, and the performances are underwhelming.
Conclusion: A Wrecked Ballad
The Ballad of Davy Crockett is a cinematic effort where seemingly everything that could go wrong did go wrong. With bafflingly awful story beats, underwhelming performances, and a lack of emotional depth, this is a ballad you might want to tune out from hearing.
In my personal reflection, this film was less of a cinematic experience and more of a prolonged facepalm session. As someone who appreciates cinematic storytelling, this film provided alarming lessons in what not to do while attempting to weave a coherent, engaging narrative on the big screen. The Ballad of Davy Crockett, if anything, will be remembered as an unforgivable disservice to a true American hero.
