A Sexy Blog

If the original Happy Gilmore was the cinematic equivalent of being blindsided by a pie in the face. A pie filled with golf balls, beer, and genuine pathos, then Happy Gilmore 2 is what happens when someone throws three pies at you at once, turns the sprinklers on mid-swing, and then asks if you remember the taste of the original filling. It’s a legacy sequel that, for all its Frankensteinian splicing of silly and serious, still manages to resurrect Sandler’s battered but buoyant Happy with enough vigor to remind us why we ever rooted for this idiot savant and his primal swing.

Gareth Evans, the kinetic firebrand behind The Raid, lets the bullets spray and bones crackle once again in Havoc, his latest Netflix spectacle. There is, at times, something almost musical to his violence—an arrhythmic percussion of bodies against concrete—that has been his signature since he left rural Wales for the Indonesian underworld. Havoc is, if nothing else, a thundering proof that Evans hasn’t lost his taste for bloody spectacle, even if his hand trembles when it comes time to string all the terrific chaos together.

This movie is shit shit shit. Yes, you heard that right—three times for emphasis, just like the movie's incessantly annoying soundtrack that drowns out any semblance of narrative or character development. The Hard Hit, or as I hilariously prefer to call it, The Hard Shit, is a cinematic experience that promises so much with its stellar Rotten Tomatoes 5-star reviews, likely written by the director himself in a fit of self-delusion. Trust me, don't be fooled by the star rating; it's about as authentic as the movie's dialogue, which is akin to a bad high school play.

Hellhound, a film that somehow pulls off the rare feat of being slightly better than the Nicolas Cage debacle known as Bangkok Dangerous, is a cinematic experience you might want to forget — yet one that inspires such curiosity that you can't help but wonder if you’re watching a parody of the hitman genre. This thriller revolves around Loreno, a hitman looking for a way out after tackling what he describes as his “last job.” Spoiler alert: his “last job” turns out to be just as cliché as the title suggests, featuring a mind-numbingly predictable plot that, unfortunately, falls flat of anything original.

If the 90s were a neon-lit cyberpunk dream, then Hackers is its anthem—a glossy, high-energy ode to the digital revolution that captured the imagination of a generation. Released in 1995, this cult classic, directed by Iain Softley, is a time capsule of dial-up modems, rollerblading hackers, and a world where the internet felt like an uncharted frontier.

In the grimy, rain-soaked underbelly of London, where hope goes to die a slow death, we find "Harry Brown" (2009), a film that promises a gritty, no-holds-barred exploration of vigilantism and despair. With Michael Caine donning the mantle of our titular anti-hero, one might be forgiven for expecting a thrilling ride through the mean streets, à la "Batman" meets "Death Wish." Alas, the reality is as disappointing as finding out your favorite superhero is secretly a vegan.

As I settled in to watch "Heretic," I was filled with anticipation, not just for the film’s engaging premise, but also to witness Hugh Grant’s intriguing transformation from a beloved romantic lead to a masterful villain. It’s akin to watching your charming neighbor become the most sinister character in a psychological horror story.

Before diving into “Hit Man,” I was already intrigued by the premise — a blend of suspense, romance, and humor that promised an entertaining ride. Interestingly, I’m not usually drawn to romantic comedies, but I hit play primarily because of Glen Powell’s captivating presence and ability to elevate any film he graces and I was not left disappointed.

The holiday season! A time for joy, laughter, and that delightful mix of cinnamon and pine scent wafting through the air. This year, I’ve curated a Christmas movie list that’s as quirky as a reindeer on roller skates.