Trashtacular

Carjackers is a haphazard amalgam that could generously be described as cinematic confusion. Streaming on platforms that likely won’t dare claim it as an exclusive, the film tells the story of Nora and her motley crew of valets and bartenders who moonlight as thieves, hitting up unsuspecting wealthy patrons. As if this dual life wasn’t complicated enough, they decide to pull off their biggest heist yet, all while being hunted down by a hitman hired by their own hotel’s director. The premise is tantalizing enough to spark interest, but strap in because this ride is heading straight into the pit of mediocrity.

Where do I even start with this gem of a film named MR-9: Do or Die? From the very moment the credits start rolling, it feels like they might as well have been playing the theme song from the Jaws soundtrack because you’re about to witness a horror show that’s both comedic and tragic in equal measure. Directed by Asif Akbar, this supposed spy action thriller is an international collaboration between the United States and Bangladesh—because what could possibly go wrong when you mix countries that are worlds apart in filmmaking sensibilities?

When I stumbled upon the 2024 action flick "Aftermath," directed by Patrick Lussier and starring Mason Gooding, Dylan Sprouse, Megan Stott, and Dichen Lachman, I braced myself for a thrill ride filled with suspense and explosive action. Instead, what I got was a front-row seat to a demolition derby of filmmaking: a spectacular collision of bad scriptwriting, painful performances, and puzzling plot choices that could run circles around any B-movie cache.

Picture this: waking up in a city you don’t recognize, your identity a mystery, and apparently, for the two hours you’re about to spend with "Man with No Past", that's not all you will forget. James Bamford, the illustrious director of such concepts as laying waste to potential, graces us with this gem on the small screen.

Welcome to Sony's latest foray into cinematic chaos, "Kraven the Hunter," now available for our collective curiosity and cautious glances. Released on December 13, 2024, this film attempts to explore the depths of Kraven's character—a journey that somehow leads down the rabbit hole of stupidity rather than insight.

Welcome to the world of "Alarum," a 2025 American action crime thriller that apparently tried to be edgy but feels more like a desperate cry for help. You know what they say—nothing screams creativity like two spies deciding to go rogue so they can, wait for it, get married. Honestly, that’s basically the plot of every romantic comedy, minus the charm and any semblance of coherent storytelling.