Picture this: waking up in a city you don’t recognize, your identity a mystery, and apparently, for the two hours you’re about to spend with "Man with No Past", that's not all you will forget. James Bamford, the illustrious director of such concepts as laying waste to potential, graces us with this gem on the small screen.
Welcome to Sony's latest foray into cinematic chaos, "Kraven the Hunter," now available for our collective curiosity and cautious glances. Released on December 13, 2024, this film attempts to explore the depths of Kraven's character—a journey that somehow leads down the rabbit hole of stupidity rather than insight.
Welcome to the world of "Alarum," a 2025 American action crime thriller that apparently tried to be edgy but feels more like a desperate cry for help. You know what they say—nothing screams creativity like two spies deciding to go rogue so they can, wait for it, get married. Honestly, that’s basically the plot of every romantic comedy, minus the charm and any semblance of coherent storytelling.
If you thought the world of cinema had run out of questionable portrayals of culture, think again! Jacques Audiard's Emilia Pérez arrives with all the grace of a hippo on a tightrope, attempting to navigate the complex realities of Mexican culture through a haze of clichés and half-baked musical numbers.
In the grimy, rain-soaked underbelly of London, where hope goes to die a slow death, we find "Harry Brown" (2009), a film that promises a gritty, no-holds-barred exploration of vigilantism and despair. With Michael Caine donning the mantle of our titular anti-hero, one might be forgiven for expecting a thrilling ride through the mean streets, à la "Batman" meets "Death Wish." Alas, the reality is as disappointing as finding out your favorite superhero is secretly a vegan.
Planet Dune, the movie that dares to ask: "What if we take all the epic grandeur of Dune and replace it with... well, whatever this is?" Directed by Tammy Klein and Glenn Campbell, and released in September 2021, this science fiction mockbuster is more of a cosmic comedic catastrophe than anything else. And you know what? I actually liked it.
Elevation, the latest post-apocalyptic action thriller directed by George Nolfi, I was hoping for an engaging adventure that would blend tactical survival with emotional stakes. After all, the film stars Anthony Mackie and Morena Baccarin, both actors known for their compelling performances. Unfortunately, what unfolded before me was a cinematic trainwreck of boredom, confusion, and missed opportunities.
Night of Horror (1981)—the cinematic equivalent of finding out your favorite ice cream has been replaced with broccoli-flavored sorbet. After I ranted on Discord about how Armor was the worst film of 2024, a mod challenged me to watch this so-bad-it's-comical flick, insisting it would make Armor look like an Oscar contender.
I walked into Armor, the latest installment of cinematic disappointment directed by Justin Routt and featuring the legendary (though increasingly puzzling) Sylvester Stallone, with expectations that were perhaps too generous.
I went into "Largo Winch: The Price of Money" anticipating it would be a disaster, especially considering how lousy Largo Winch II was. However, I found myself fueled by curiosity and a hint of skepticism, secretly hoping it wouldn’t be as bad as I feared.